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« White & Wobbly | Main | IT'S WORLD CUP SOCCERBALL! »

Thursday, May 18, 2006

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The OTHER Jon

Oy!
Your man Zach is an inspiration to us all. I have now decided to do him one better by starting up my own web-based collection in a competing scheme: to fund and film my own all-British-female-emcee three-way. All donations should be directed to my new website:

http://www.ladysovmia3some.org

I figure a cool hundred grand ought to cover it. And I've already got the BAVC-certified Final Cut chops. Though I could use a post-production supervisor with a strong working knowledge of Ripple tool editing...

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What The Locals Said

  • "What if the hokey-cokey really is what its all about?"
  • "Are you a Christian? No? Do you want to be? No? Well it's just such a shame that a lovely man like you will have to burn in Hell after you die."
  • "I tell you, man - this is the only city in the world that will desensitize you to lesbians....look there's girls KISSING over there and you're looking at your beer"
  • "So I'm just another overweight girl in a mini-skirt trying to get laid..."
  • "When I was big, breakfast was twenty two sausages and a gallon of coffee"
  • "You from England? I've had me some girls from England in my cab. DAMN! They suuurrreeeee isssssss UGLY!"
  • "Jeeez - I mean, what was he thinking? Would YOU attend your father's funeral in a cranberry leisure suit?"
  • "Man, I love London...it's slung like real low, real cool"
  • "Mom keeps asking what I'm gonna do and it's like, mom - for the last time, I'M GONNA BE A ROCKSTAR!"
  • "Well, when it's all said and done, er, there'll be nothing left to say or do..."

Words From Planet Marketing

  • "We are in the final countdown for having the job candidate zeroed down and finalized"
  • "For Mr.Turkey, we need to ramp up usage occasions. We need to optimize the bird for consideration in a snacking repetoire"
  • "The spirit of the concept is the 'ritual cusine moment'"
  • "We are aggressively trying to introduce consumers to the rest of our froken bakery snacks portfolio"
  • "Jimmy Dean needs to be moved neatly along from owning sausage to owning breakfast"
  • "Consumers want innovative bread serving suggestions"
  • "Consumers enter a retail deli environment with a protein consideration set"
  • "We want to pursue the Fresh Sweet Muffin opportunity"

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