Bent Bangers

Happy Chinese New Year, readers!

I thought I'd liven things up with a slightly racist AND homophobic post.  Either that or I'll be forlornly fishing around for something to dress up as a culturally astute observation. 

(Actually, here's one:  America smells of sandwiches...mayonnaise in particular.  Whereas Africa smells of meat; the UK smells of mud and S.E.Asia smells of lemongrass.  Finland smells of puncture repair glue.)

Sooooo.....I was in China Town last night for the New Year.  And let's just say that 'those people' do not abide by The Firework Code  when having explosive fun.  Let's just say they choose NOT to 'light the fuse and stand well back'.

Instead they choose to throw weapons-grade firecrackers at each other, at bystanders, at cars, at bars and, rather wonderfully, at The Gayers whenever possible.  And, as we know, The Gayers can be more dramatic than The Non-Gayers...

So, whereas in London, the soundtrack to a fireworks display in a muddy field goes something like this:

Tssssss.......WHOOOSH......BANG!  'Ooooooooo...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'

for Chinese New Year in SF, it's more like this:

Tsss..WHOOSH..BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG! 'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!! MY BOTTOM'S ON FIRE!! I'M FLAMING, I'M FLAMING!!"

Which I think is rather wonderful.

So 2006 is the Year of the Dog.  And absolutely not the year of the Chutney Ferret.