A Cup Of Empire, Please

Here's how to fluster an American.

Next time you're this side of the pond and offered a coffee, ask for a 'damn fine cuppa' instead (and smack your lips too).

The palaver that follows is a treat.

'Ah.  What sort of tea would you like then?'

'Tssk.  Well it's after three in the afternoon, so the Earl Grey, obviously.'

'Right.  Erm...in a cup or a mug?  Milk and sugar?  In what order?  How long should I boil the water for? And will you be needing a cookie...sorry, 'bis-quit' with that?'

I always expect it to be brought to me ten minutes later on a red pillow with a silver stirring spoon.

I guess it's the cultural equivalent of an Italian requesting a perfect espresso....or an Irishman a perfect pint of Guinness....or a Filipino a perfect, fully fertilised, nearly hatched duck embryo.

Except that it isn't.  Let's face it, ANYONE can make a cup of tea.  And it's astonishing that so much English hauteur is associated with chucking a Tetley's tea bag into some boiling water and adding a splash of cow juice.  How have we got away with it for so long? 

Never mind - keep it up chaps!  And God Save The Queen.

Talking of cultural treasures, I shared an (imported) pack of Twiglets with my co-workers last week.  My Account Director had one and had to take the rest of the day off sick.  Five days on, she's still complaining that her tainted fingers smell like a 'cat's ass'. 

They loved the Wotsits though.

Comments

[Bethez]

Love the new blue steel photo.

When you home, you cock?

[jonnyeye]

See, all the girl readers (i.e. Sandra) were complaining that the last one 'didn't do me justice'.

It's a fine line to walk. I'll ferret around on flickr and see if I can find something less gay though.

Home 24th....around until 2nd...pints and smoking top of the agenda...

[pook]

Is that strictly 'blogging' chaps?? Seems a lot more like 'chatting'....is there a difference, though? Discuss. Yes, I am bored.

[jonnyeye]

it's an interactive forum, chaps.

now then - anyone got a funny story to tell? I'm all out....

[Taurus]

I haven't, if that helps.