Man In A Panic

Tease-o-Rama

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Originally uploaded by jonnyeye.

More successful was a visit to this evening of Burlesque cinema at the Victoria Theatre - possibly the world's most uncomfortable cinema for anyone over 3ft tall.

As part of San Francisco's Tease-o-Rama  festival, a premier of the new Suicide Girls DVD was prefaced by a Q&A with 4 Burlesque luminaries from the 1950s, 60s and 70s.  I had absolutely no idea who these women were but their stories were compelling, even if their billing as LIVING Legends is hanging by a thread...

Anyway, I'm now the proudly pointless owner of two signed photographs from Dixie Evans ('The Marilyn Monroe of Burlesque') and Satan's Angel....

The Suicide Girls film was ok - styled like a pop video and all very 'girl power' but authentic nonetheless.  It's less about stripping per se and more about the means by which socially ostracised (but eumorphous) young women form strong, life-changing bonds with like-minded souls......while getting naked, smearing themselves in olive oil and gyrating in front of thousands of whooping men. 

The golden moment was a drawled outburst from Dixie in the row behind me - 'Holy smoke!' croaked the 89 year old ex-stripper, 'Won't you look at that little dahlin's booty!'

Going Ape

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Originally uploaded by jonnyeye.

So, knowing noone and with plenty of time to kill, I'm learning to enjoy doing things on the spur-of-the-moment in San Francisco. 

For instance, I'd been looking forward all week to catching this film 'Gorilla Sports', having trundled past it on the cable car every morning.  Expecting, at worst, an American-style Attenborough doc (less hushed whispers, more INCREDIBLE FACTS!) and, at best, some sort of simian porno (an  orangutan gangbang), I was hugely disappointed to walk into a store full of Nike jogging bottoms and tennis racquets.

Still, if anyone at the BBC needs 'creative inspiration', Gorilla Sports isn't a bad starting concept...

Marmite Mafia

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Originally uploaded by jonnyeye.

Today, when visiting an American Safeway for the first time, I had an epiphany.  No, NOT a Christian feast celebrating the manifestation of the divine nature of Jesus to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi...but a sudden realisation of meaning.

Consumer brands really ARE quite important - ouch -  in that they help you navigate endless choices.  Believe me, the UK actually has very few brands in common with California - Kraft, Kelloggs, Dominoes...but even then the products and packaging are different. 

I was hopelessly lost in Safeway and pursued the strategy of buying the most expensive option in every case...expensive salt, expensive olive oil, expensive jam, expensive pizza....and I still didn't feel like I had stuff I'd enjoy in my basket.

Incidentally, Americans must be differently culturally conditioned when it comes to 'clean smells'.  Where in the UK, 'clean' tends to translate as lemons, pine or 'sea breeze', all the cleaning products here - shampoos,  kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff - reek of ammonia and old people's homes. 

You might be thinking that, as an advertising professional, I'd know all this stuff.  Well of course I do....but like most people, I hate to admit that my mind is being manipulated by....er....people like me.

Coincidentally, I then stumbled across a specialist British grocers at the dodgy end of California Street.  Imagine huge installations of Baked Beans, Tetley's Tea Bags, McVities Biscuits and Wham Bars.  The shopkeeper (for we are a nation of them) was a strange and unhappy fellow, originally from Lancashire.  He's been in the States for 4 years, fighting for Rowntree's Jelly like a wounded animal.  "These people are crazy" he told me "Have you tasted their macaroni cheese?" 

Personally, I'm not sure the best way to enjoy a foreign country is to barricade yourself behind a wall of Bird's Custard tins.  I grabbed a Mars Bar and got the hell outta there, bro.

David Brent

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Originally uploaded by jonnyeye.

Once upon a time, I dreamed about my name being up in lights.

Now it's on the door of an office in San Francisco.

Still, for me, it's a first and I hate myself for being proud enough to take a photo of it.

Commuter

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Originally uploaded by jonnyeye.

This is how I get to work.

YAY!

Strictly Bluegrass

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Originally uploaded by jonnyeye.

So I found myself at a foggy Bluegrass festival on my first weekend in San Francisco.

Lots of banjos and (non-smoking) hippies-frozen-in-time. 

It was great to see Joan Baez though, especially having watched Scorcese's Dylan documentary (No Direction Home) last week.  Sadly I missed Dolly Parton - I didn't even know she could sing....funny how our generation thinks 'comedy boobs and hair' rather than 'leading light of country music'.

One interesting observation:  Californians get very excited at public swearing.  Every single 'fuck' was met with a loud cheer, regardless of context.  I must remember that for my first day at work.