"HEY JONATHAN, YOU JUST GOTTA JOIN THE BOWLING LEAGUE...IT'S JUST LIKE, SOOOO MUCH FUN AND IS LIKE SOOOO THE BEST WAY TO MEET PEOPLE AT THE AGENCY. IT'S LIKE, IF YOU'RE NOT IN THE BOWLING LEAGUE, YOU'RE LIKE A RETARD, RIGHT?"
I won't sleep for nights on end pondering this.
Were your playground days ever brightened by the game 'Or Else You'd Die', where you'd be presented with two equally unpalatable options on pain of death? - for instance, 'Would you rather eat your mum's head or stick pins in your cat's eyes ELSE YOU'D DIE....?!'
Well noone told me that Californians play this for real.
So that's Social Ostracism v Weekly Big Boy Skittles.
Bugger.
To be frank, I can't write this now. I need to pace around and smoke and drink and worry. And then dream about hurling a cannon ball down a death slide to a Bon Jovi soundtrack.
What on earth shall I do?
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